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Not Paying You To Even Your Spray Tan

12/15/10 One Life To Live

I really wish there would be a murder in Salem along with this one in Llanview. Why can't the one that deserves to be killed just get killed? I have a perfect suspect for the Salem Slaying which would be Gollum. Why not she's been acting very strange but who knows who killed Eddie since no one actually liked him. Also where in the world is Inez? She could have killed Eddie but I guess they'd figure out that he was shot with Bo's gun so maybe not.

Poor Nora is still out who knows where. Hell maybe she shot him. I didn't see a broken windshield so if she was thrown from the car wouldn't there be signs of it and her ring was on the other side of the car so maybe she did stumble out and wandered down to the motel which was only a mile down the street. She'd certainly have a motive for it after what Eddie put her through. At least Rex was finally able to tell Bo that Nora was in the car with him. See Bo she had a good reason for not answering the phone along with Rex.

Todd calls Rex but of course he can't come to the phone because he's in the ER. So I wonder about the cufflinks thing. Is he the only one around with those initials? I guess John just loves going to see Todd. John do you have a crush on him? Well one time when I was watching at the ABC website after the explosion and they were caught in probably the basement Herbie did flip out over John saying something about getting kissed by Todd. I don't recall the exact words since I don't have one of those photographic memories. I'm not even going to try to spell the other word for it when this one works just fine.

After Viki staked her claim Echo ends up getting a call from Charlie about Rex so she runs off but forgets to tell Viki that Charlie wanted her to know too. I guess she could blame it on the morning tequila. Well it isn't looking good for Charlie and Viki's marriage since I wouldn't be surprised if he wants to help Echo kick the booze. She could always go to rehab and AA Charlie since you don't have to take it upon yourself especially considering the history the woman has with Viki.

Oh Kelly either blurt it out or just stay away. Instead she gets lemon in her eye. Viki caught on that Kelly's in love with Joey and she seems to prefer that to Aubrey who I don't trust at all. I don't think it has anything to do with her being blonde. And it is driving me crazy about the mystery person on the other end of the phone. I don't trust her for a second. Could she be a pal of Kim's. Just a random thought that probably won't mean a thing since I often have random thoughts that just come and go like the wind or gas. Instead Kelly keeps quiet and Aubrey walks in. She also talks to herself quite a bit. At least Manicate talks to a picture.

I wonder if it was just me or did Nat not seem all that concerned about Rex? Instead of going to the hospital where she could help comfort Gigi she instead decides to stay at the crime scene and finds a red hair. Gee I wonder who else has red hair in Pine Valley? Come on Nat think about it for a second. Maybe she was thinking about cupcakes since it was Cupcake Day. I made sure to get my cupcake but later I found out it was Hot Chocolate Day. Maybe you could have both. It's not like I need an excuse for chocolate. Maybe if she figures it out someone will go out looking for Nora who has been out all night and where in the world is Matthew? Did he go off the road too and did he just keep driving?

If I knew the way to Pine Valley I'd go there myself to open that damn box. Just open it already. Yes Todd I'd love to see you smash the box open so shut up about the key Blair. But sadly the box wasn't open and with John showing up I'm not going to hold my breath that it will be opened in the next episode either. I do wonder what's in the box. How could Blair just sit around with the thing and not open it? And why would she think there's something in it that would incriminate her? I guess she could just be paranoid after all this is a serial killer's box but just open it and get it over with already.
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Got What You Deserved

12/14/10 One Life To Live

Why can't someone in Salem take care of Enormo like someone did with Eddie? I even have suggestions so ding ding the monster's gone at least the one that was living in Llanview. I think it is too obvious for James to be the killer but I did say the same thing about Henry in Harper's Island too. There's also Nate who was standing over Eddie's corpse and even though he was in the hospital for some reason Bobby seemed to know the old man was dead.

Both Nate and James were out but who knows who took the guy out since there are a few others that might want him dead. It looks like Starr has forgotten all about Cole since she was worried about James. I don't mind her and James as a couple but I really don't think she should jump into another relationship just because her ex or whatever he is happens to be. For all we know Inez could have done it since she did have access to Bo's gun while she was pretending to sleep with him. Yep she told him that they had sex. Poor Bo and he has no idea about poor Nora.

Gigi's worried about Rex not coming home so she goes over to see Brody. While she's talking to him Rex manages to call her and tells her where he is. He was able to say Nora but they took off without looking for her. If I'm not mistaken that looked like her wedding ring on the ground. How did she get out of the car anyway? I'm not sure if she was wearing a seatbelt or not and she could have forgotten because she was wigged about what had happened to her. And there's Matthew too although with the way he's been acting I wonder if anyone would even miss the guy. Well maybe Clint would since he wants to mold him in his evil image.

Joey's an idiot. He's most likely getting played by this Aubrey chick who I don't trust at all. Even Jess seems to think that he'd end up with Kelly. I do wonder if Kelly will fess up like Dorian told her to although I'm not sure if she should be taking advice from her and of course Blair is just bitter about men so maybe she'll go lesbian. Well maybe she'll have better luck. Joey also seems to be unable to grasp the idea of not telling anyone. He blabbed to Jess about it so my impression of the guy so far is that he's a moron. I wonder if he was so stupid when the delicious Nathan played him.
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Press A Button And Edit Him Out

12/13/10 One Life To Live

Was that a facebutt that Eddie gave Ford. That boy needs some fighting lessons since he kind of sucks. Sure he got one punch in before he got seriously pummeled. But since Ford threw the first punch Brody couldn't arrest Eddie since he'd be forced to bring them both in. How nice it seems like Brody has gotten past the whole oops I slept with your girl when she thought she was a teen. He needs to get to the hospital since he's already nearly died thanks to Eli and when he got worked over by Black and Blue.

Matthew sees Inez and Bo kissing and flips out not realizing that poor Bo thinks he's kissing Nora. He gets into his car and I'm wondering is he even old enough to drive? He calls Dani who knows he's upset but he isn't making sense since Matt's just going on about Inez being a homewrecker and a whore so Dani doesn't bother to tell Nate what happened until later. The kid did have his heart broken by Dani and now he's seen his dad kissing someone so I wonder if this means he'll end up like Sami who did catch John and her mom doing it on the conference table which led to some serious problems for that girl and it doesn't help that he thinks Clint is the only one that tells him the truth.

Oh Natalie I was wondering if the girl lost her brain on one of the many trips to the bathroom since she seemed confused when John proposed. She asked what he was doing and ended up leaving the room. So she's calling Rex just as he's about to break into Eddie's room. Poor Nora having to wait for the guy to get off the phone before getting rescued. Nat was confused about the timing. Hello the dude loves you and hello who would turn down this guy? He's hot and did I mention that he's hot? Oops I'm thinking of him in a tank top so I might lose my train of thought for a moment. She does end up saying yes but wants to keep it a secret so when Brody finds them kissing she tells him that she's planning an engagement party for him and Jess.

Finally Rex gets into the room and sees Nora. He pulls off the tape and starts untying her. When he reaches for the cord or whatever it was around her waist she gets a bit jumpy. Since her hands are numb she isn't able to button her buttons so Rex offers to do it. He gets her some water and gets her untied. I just don't know why they didn't call the cops but Rex did try calling Bo who was passed out at Inez's place with Inez who did seem to be feeling horrible about what had happened. Well she should but at least she didn't go through with him. At least I hope she doesn't end up having sex with Bo. What is up with Bo's ending up with other chicks while mistaking them for their wives?

Since Rex was driving and Matt was driving I was thinking oh shit there's going to be a car crash because Matthew's upset about what he thought he saw and Nora's encouraging Rex to go faster although he had already mentioned that the road was icy since Nora tripped or something. I guess I blinked and missed that part. But it looks like Eddie won't be a problem for anyone now since he gets back to the room and in comes James with the gun but oops it is now several hours later and Eddie's lying on the floor quite possibly dead and who knows what happened to Rex, Nora, and Matt.z James isn't the only possible suspect after all he was talking about editing him out. Now if only Days could take a cue and get rid of that evil Brit.
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Slap Me Twice I Will Kick Your Ass Marty

12/10/10 One Life To Live

Finally I got all caught up only to start getting behind tomorrow. Even though the time on this blog posts says it is tomorrow it isn't. Nope it is still Sunday. I'm just glad that Nat stood up to that bitch Manicate who is chock full of crazy. I got to enjoy the slap again which is always fun when the person deserves it. She won't be voted Mother Of The Year after all her son did end up killing a guy although I'm sure many will agree that Eli totally deserved it. She's supposed to be a shrink and didn't try to help the kid deal with his anger issues. Maybe an anger management class might have helped him avoid getting a third strike with the killing of Eli. He might have been able to get temporary insanity if he hadn't already had two strikes against him.

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At Your Pace

12/9/10 One Life To Live

I'm just glad these guys are more cooperative about taking their shirts off. Langston isn't going to make it through the six months unless she gets a little help but hey who could blame her for getting a little hot when there were not one not two but three guys shirtless. Feel free to take your shirt off too James. Yep I'm going to Special Hell but I've come to terms with that so bring on the shirtless hotties. I just wish a certain pair of brothers were more cooperative when it comes to taking their shirts off. I just hope that Brody and Cris's tips are enough for Ford to beat his father to a bloody pulp.

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Eat My Ten Gallon Hat

12/8/10 One Life To Live

I wonder what Clint would eat with his hat. He could put some barbecue sauce on it. The man seems to see gold diggers everywhere he turns. I really doubt that Rex is a gold digger after all from what I can figure out Gigi isn't rolling in the dough and doesn't seem to has any family aside from her son and Rex and Viki's kind of like her Maggie. It's like Clint thinks that if Rex found out the truth that he'd drop Gigi and go after someone with money. If he was out for the money wouldn't he try to hook up with Jessica the one he doesn't realize is his sister although now that I think about it she really isn't at least not by blood right? Family trees do tend to get confusing at some point.

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You Lost Your Underwear

12/7/10 One Life To Live

Now I know nothing about Joey but he seems a bit dumb to me. It was like he was surprised that Kelly would think the ring was for her. I just don't trust that Aubrey chick especially with her knowing Ford. Odds are good they did hook up after all he was a slut not that long ago. Even though I have no idea what she's hiding I do think she is hiding something. So poor Kelly gets screwed over because Joey's a moron and there's this new chick he wants to marry that he met five seconds before.

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A Drink Away

12/6/10 One Life To Live

It looks like Kelly's getting closer and closer to finding out what's going on and I don't trust that Aubrey one bit. Now the poor girl is going to think that Joey's popping the question which is a understandable conclusion to jump to after all she goes to the table and he's holding a ring. She has no clue that he had already popped the question to Aubrey in front of the parents which I found extremely odd. Is this the brother that Nathan was playing? Does he have a brain?

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Mimosa Veritas

12/3/10 One Life To Live

Well Dorian never got Echo to spill but she did get an eyeful when she followed Echo and Charlie home. He took her back to Wildfire or whatever the hell the house is named. It is easy to lose track of them although I'm pretty sure that the Scumera mansion and Victor's mansion don't have names. Maybe they don't do that in Salem while they do in other places. Echo ends up kissing Charlie and he doesn't seem to be objecting too much. So they were drinking Mimosas. Well she does have to keep quiet about the real Daddy otherwise Rex ends up in jail but I still think everyone should go to Bo but that's just me.

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Alike In So Many Ways

12/2/10 One Life To Live

I'm assuming that this wasn't just OJ that Dorian kept pushing on Echo. How rude not offering me any. I could use a drink myself. I'm sure Viki will be thrilled to see Dorian and Echo all buddy buddy. She even invited her to stay at La Bubble. I want to stay at La Bubble. Can I stay there too? I'm challenged too. Do you have a butler? Is he British? Weird how so many butlers are British. I think Henderson might be the only one that isn't. I still have no idea if that's his last or first name.

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If You Want To Stay Out Of The Wood Chipper

12/1/10

Raise your hand if you think Eddie's creepy? I'd be raising my hand but that makes typing hard to do so I'm lifting my leg instead. Yeah the wood chipper sounds nice and thanks for the idea Todd since I'll be adding another thing to that list of mine. Even if he won't admit it Todd did kind of bond with James. Also throw in him being all creepy to Dani and Eddie's going to have to deal with Todd and I'm rooting for Todd. Pedophile much Eddie? But right on to Nate for punching that asshole because if anyone deserves it that would be Daddy Dearest. So now he's admitting that Nate's his kid? I'm thinking Inez was too terrified to even think about cheating.

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Not An Ideal Situation

11/30/10 One Life To Live

I do not trust that Aubrey at all. I do wonder who she was talking to and why was she so hesitant to meet the family? There's something going on there for sure. I don't think Joey just randomly met her while he was out taking pictures. I'm sure that was arranged since I smell a gold digger and the gold digger has herself a partner but the question would be who. Is it someone in Llanview? I guess only time will tell. Poor Kelly has no clue that the chick she met on the plane is Joey's new boyfriend. I guess Kevin isn't as much in the loop about things as she thought. At least she didn't leave him another crazy ass message although they were funny to hear.

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Add Wrongful Adhesive To Your List

11/29/10 One Life To Live

Some people just need to have adhesive added to their mouths. I can think of someone tall, British, and annoying whose mouth I'd want to cover along with killing him of course but hey there's the magic of the remote which means I don't have to hear his stupid voice and for the most part I don't have to see him either. I do wonder if Inez will tell Bo what Clint asked her to do. He's certainly in the revenge spirit. I thought he was pissed about Kim but now he's pissed that Bo got back together with Nora and hello unless I'm wrong they were together first. So he's just being really stupid and how ironic that Ford ends up going to him for help with Eddie I'm guessing.

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I Was Thinking Gimlets

11/24/10 One Life To Live

How sad Nigel and what's his face aren't together on the holiday. I wonder if Henderson has a cousin somewhere. What is the guy's name? No clue but I'm with Gimlets Dude when it comes to pumpkin pie but sadly I don't have any pie but I do have some cookies in the oven that will just have to do until I can get a pie fix. I certainly won't be heading to the store tonight although there's one of them open at midnight. Do people really do the whole Black Friday thing? The closest I'l get to Black Friday will be wearing black since there's no way in hell I'll go near the mall tomorrow. So Joey's back in Llanview while Kelly's in London but on the bright side she can take the speedy plane home and be there in plenty of time to have dinner or perhaps dessert.

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